Thursday, January 26, 2006

Live longer with exercise

You know how they say exercise makes you live longer. Exercise is just like having kids, everyone who does it tries to convince you that it's wonderful. Furthermore once you have one and they drive you nuts, people start telling you "oh you need to have another, it's not as hard as the first and they will keep each other occupied.....blah blah blah" Then you have kids and you're like "I'll effing kill those sonsabitches that told me to have kids."

Such is the way of exercise. Somebody who's in shape convinces you, tells you it's going to be wonderful, make you live longer....blah blah blah. What they really want is another person to share their misery. See the thing is exercise doesn't make you live longer. Exercise makes every day seem longer because of all the pain. It's just like dieting. Eat right live longer. No.... eat right and you will feel like days are neverending because of all the whey and cod liver oil you're eating and trying to make taste like a Meat Lover's tm Pan Pizza.

In short what I'm trying to say is, the Body for Life plan is going wonderfully. You all should try it. The food isn't as bad as it would seem and the exercise only makes you sore for a little bit, then you're better than new.

Try it.... you'll live longer.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Body for Life

I bought the book. I'm doing the 12 week challenge. If you're lucky I won't post the before picture here. I might have to post it though just to motivate myself. God I hate me. I'm a fat pile of crap. I promise you all right here right now I'm doing this 12 week challenge with every bit of dedication and energy I can muster. Because I know everyone loves a before and after photo and it's even better when you know the person. Plus when I finish the 12 weeks you will know once and for all if Body for Life is for real or if it's total bullshit. I promise you I will follow all the rules for 12 weeks and I will do all the exericise like it's my religion. Well I'll do better than that because my religion is sitting on the couch watching football and tracking my fantasy stats online. I start tomorrow. Tomorrow is day 1 of 84. Tomorrow I will start the challenge at 196 lbs with a big belly, 2 good sized man boobies, poor cardiovascular conditioning, a general lethargic disposition, a history of self letdown and a love of all things not contained on the list of foods I'm allowed to eat Monday through Saturday. Wish me luck but more importantly count on me to do it. Let me know that you really need to know if this thing is BS or not. Let me know that you really need to see a set of abs that have been hiding under lard for roughly 34 years. I'm doing it baby. I hope I don't look exactly like my before picture at the end because that will completely effing blow a shitty cock.


Thursday, January 12, 2006


My brother in law, Iron Mike is helping me train for a mini-Triathlon in June. We were swimming the other day and he said, "one good thing about swimming is you won't be sore tomorrow." Well one good thing about Iron Mike is he's a goddamned liar.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


I just pooped. So much for that resolution.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

you knew it was coming

My resolutions for 2006. I decided to do real ones. I think I can hold to these.
  • no more work poops
  • no more Party Poker
  • do some form of exercise for the sake of exercise every day
  • lose 10 lbs
  • no more sugar in my coffee
  • pack my lunch at least 3 days a week
  • do the triathlon in June

That's my deal. One of last year's resolutions was also to lose 10 lbs I think. I believe when I wrote it I weighed 196.5. When 2006 began I weighed 201 lbs. That one went pretty well. Eff you fat boy.

I also said I would get to my desk at work before 8 at least 3 days a week. I didn't arrive at work before 8 a total of 3 times in 2005. What a loser

I said I would get rid of my cats. I did. Cats blow.

Allright let's do this bitches. 2007 here I come. Man I can't even believe how fast 2006 went.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

National Champs

I had no stake in the Rose Bowl, I couldn't have cared less who won but I just watched the greatest national championship game in NCAA history and I have to say Vince Young is absolutely amazing. No player has ever had a bigger game in a bigger game. Holy crap he was effing amazing tonight. I hope he plays one more year and the Browns go winless next year. He had 200 yards rushing and 3 rushing TD's and he's the freaking quarterback! I am not disappointed that I stayed up to watch this whole game. Unbelievable. He accounted for 467 yds of total offense.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

I saw this face recognition website on Carly's blog and decided to give it a try. I got a 98% match. Here's who I look most like.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Shop Dungs Paper Anniversary

Happy New Year all. Today marks the one year anniversary of the Shop Dungarees Blog and in celebration I have posted these photos of the gifts of paper I am looking forward to receiving. Tomorrow I will be reviewing my resolutions of 2005 and how I managed to fail at most of them.