Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed

When I was driving home tonight I saw a car that looked like it was pretty close to bursting into flames if it wasn't already on fire. The guy who was driving it minutes earlier was now standing out beside the car with the hood open (to provide more oxygen to the fire) scratching his head. He was giving it the old "let me take a look here and see if I can't put this fire out with a knowing stare". I started thinking about all the cars I've seen in this condition and all the guys and ladies I've seen standing there staring at the smoldering pile of crap and I figured out that they are always exactly the same car and exactly the same person give or take a few pounds and teeth.

Anyway this lady.

is always standing by this car.


and this guy

is always standing next to this car


It's always an '86 Caprice. C'mon guy if you go to the used car dealership and you buy an '86 Caprice, you're basically saying "I'd like a car that's going to overheat and burst into flames pretty soon on my way to work." and then the salesman is like "oh.... I have a nice '86 Caprice over here." Dammit guy. If you only have $250 for a car get the Corolla with 200k miles on it.

7 comments:

slcup said...

Those mullets made me choke on my oatmeal. And those statements are absolutely true.

Lo Lo Lova said...

Welcome back, Johnny! I've missed you!!!

Thank you for the new hairdo ideas. I'm printing off the she-mullet as we speak, so I can take the picture with me to the beauty salon and have it done.

John said...

I'm not going to lie, I love both of you

Lo Lo Lova said...

The love is mutual, Baby. And so is the STD. But that's another post all together...

slcup said...

What's a little gonorrhea among friends?

Johnny Virgil said...

I thought I told you not to use that picture of me and my pickup truck. Bastard.

danielle said...

wait, why are the lady and man (vir-girl) standing next to other cars then.