Sunday, August 14, 2005

We are the champions (kinda)

I play softball. I've played for about 18 sorry years. During the prime years of my so called athleticism I played poorly for as many as 4 teams at the same time. But now it's been reduced to one Sunday morning men's team. It gives me a chance to get out of the house without the kids for a few hours and counts at least in some small part as exercise. This was our second year playing in this league. Our team is a mish mosh of guys I've played with forever and some guys I've only met in the last year since playing in this league. I play outfield. I've played every position on the field for one team or another along the way but I was made for outfield on account of I'm afraid of line drives.

This year I played right field and right center field. For the most part I personally fielded and hit worse than normal all year. Which leads me to how we won the championship.

2 weeks ago after winning the front and back of our final doubleheader of the season I went to my friend's house to hang out and eat pizza. As I was preparing to leave I decided we should play some football to burn off the pizza. 6 touchdowns and a lot of running later I tore my right hamstring.

And so I watched from the bench as my team swept the first week of playoffs and rolled the only remaining team in the championship game today. It looked so easy.

We never ever win....ever. In those 18 years I referred to earlier, I've come in 2nd place at least 40 times. No matter how much better we seem than the other team, somehow we always find a way to lose the big game but today the softball gods shined on us and let us have one and I have to think now that somehow I'm the one the softball gods really hate.

I think it's time for me to retire. I can always talk about how I "went out on top" and how we "won our last 8 games" and how I "like to wear women's panties".... whoa yeah maybe not that. Anyway, years from now, nobody will need to know that I was on the IR when it all went down. I've got the league champions shirt to prove I was on the team and I signed the game ball. This is the stuff legends are made of.

On a completely unrelated note, this really hot girl named Shawna commented on my blog because she obviously realized just like the rest of you how awesome I am and by awesome I mean totally sweet. So I feel it's my duty to link to her but more importantly as a friend to let you guys know that there are pictures of her on her blog so you should go check it out.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

How come I didn't know you tore your hamstring? Maybe it's cuz you are always saying how everything on your body hurts. I'm sorry you missed the championship game, but you got the t-shirt and didn't even have to work for it. That's the Sarah way of doing things.

P.S. It's not like there's anyone left out there who doesn't know you like to wear women's panties.

Carly said...

hahaha, shawna obviously never met you .... no, wait, I am totally kidding. You rock.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

That blows. You're the guy in the photo with his one finger raised, sitting there in street clothes while the rest of the team is laying all over each other covered in champange.

Sorry to hear you're that guy. You'll get 'em next year.

russ said...

You suck at sports. Perhaps you should open a franchise to sell these.

Lo Lo Lova said...

I'm sure your team did not win because you were sitting out, so don't even think that.