I tried to post drunk last night. I don't know what happened but I know this, I was effing trashed. I probably would have said some things on the blog that are better off lost. I bet it would have looked like this.
"i lfove you guys. If cuking sied I lvoew you lnot because I' m fujing drink bute you knwo ewhi"
I've been working at Tittyman (the road it's on sounds like Tittyman and the vendor referred to it as such) all week. No lunch pals no funny lunch stories. Although the vendor I was working with all week is a pretty cool guy. That is until he cropdusted me yesterday and then walked away leaving me there to toil away in the stenchcloud. After awhile I couldn't decide whether it still stunk or I had just gotten used to it. I'm sure at least one person thinks it was me that shit my pants. It wasn't. At least not this time.
So I have a bad habit of drinking moderately all night and then finishing the night off with something assinine. Last night was no exception. I had about eleventy five beers before I decided I should finish strong with a fucking long island iced tea. FLIIT as I like to call it because my common sense goes the flight route of the fight or flight scenario. Fuck you long island iced tea you bitch. My fucking head and stomach are still not right.
So I almost had to recite Scott's tourette's rant out loud today when after 6 weeks of working on a problem the vendor of the product informed us that we were running an unsupported version of the software it runs on. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU. I almost gave 'em the ol' Tarantino director's cut right there. AHOLES.
I'll get back to this bloggin pretty soon. Peace out mother shitting piece of ass bitches.
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9 comments:
Quit working with computers. Open a this franchise.
Ah yes, the dreaded "Beer before liquor, never sicker."
Meanwhile, you need to make a new sign for Captain Cropduster and pin it on his back. Or, hang one up by your workspace that says something like, "I did not shit my pants. I was bombed by Captain Cropduster."
I always miss when you're drunk. Dammit. Can you come back to lunch please? I miss you and your stories of cropdusting.
um... At the risk of sounding, like, ELEVEN or something...What's cropdusting? (I swear I am 28)
Beck do you know what the real cropdusting is? It's when a farmer in an airplane takes up a load of something like pesticide or fungicide and then drops it out over his crops. In this case it's when you build up a load of gas and drop it over your victim(s) in a fly by and then leave the scene.
I seeeeee. Hmmm... the possibilities open to me with this new-found knowledge are endless...
please come back and please get drunk more when i can experience it.
You are swearing at the wrong drink... Long Islands are awesome. You can get drunk on two and not eleventy five. It's the beer that sucks. Pee water. Ewww. :)
I would like to be drunk with John also. NO cropdusting. If you crop dust me I will punch you in your ovary. Seriously.
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