At work I sit in an area we refer to as the pod. Our building is full of cubicles but our area is like a big open shared cubicle with room for 8 but only 6 of us in there. Some people look at it and wonder how we could work sitting right next to somebody in an open area with no privacy. It works for us. We're an awesome team. We make fun of each other. We talk on the phone really loud about our vasectomies and don't give it a second thought. If we have a question we usually just yell it. We're universally offensive but isolated from the cubicle dwellers.
Today we got word we're getting evicted. You know what. Eat a fucking cock.
Jesus fucking christ enough with the fucking anal rape. Give us this one goddamned thing that makes us happy you fucking assclowns. I hate you rat bastards. I'm going to lay a log under my desk in a place that nobody can find so that the buttpirates that move into my pod have to smell an aging doodie nugget for the rest of their days at my fucking desk.
FUCK
14 comments:
I can't believe they're making you leave the pod. This is like the end of an era. Definitely leave a doodie. Make sure your webcam isn't on when you do it, though.
where the hell are they moving you to?
Are they going to stick you down in the basement with Milton? Excuse me sir, I believe you have my stapler?
(Please tell me you've seen Office Space!)
PS: Sorry about your shitty news. Be sure to grind the dootie into the carpeting so it's harder to get out!
um Lolo. Storage B? It's right in the title of my post. Plus I totally showed you my O face the other night. Also see this.
Shop Dungarees
John: SO SORRY! I have never read your full profile. Don't I look like an asshole when I click and see that listed as your first fave. Oops. And I totally missed the Storage B thing. Forgive me already! Maybe we can stop by Flingers later and get some extreme quesadillas and count pieces of flair?
Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt on the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass...
P.S. That sucks that they are making you move. Lo Lo and I could give some stool too so that they can't trace it to you through DNA.
Mel - It takes a true friend to offer up their own excrement to help you beat a rap on DNA evidence.
Derek - "blows a shitty cock" is my new favorite catchphrase. Hey John what do you think of the new cover pages for the TPS reports. I think they blow a shitty cock that's what I think.
Mark - I have no idea where they're putting us.
Lolo - you're forgiven. in the future, you can assume if you think it's awesome so do I since we're triplets with Sarah
Does that means when Lo Lo made you cry in bed it was due to the fact that you felt guilty about all the incest going on?
As far as the poo, that's just the kind of friend I am. What's mine is yours!
John, thanks for your forgiveness. I will definitely ASSume in the future.
Also, Melanie has lots and lots of stool to offer you. Trust me on this one. But I will always pitch in, as we are all in on this together.
PS: And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...
I'm also in for sharing some poop. Not because I'm a good friend or anything. I just like the idea of giving away my poop. Let me know when you'd like it and I'll have a bunch of mexican food the week of donation.
who knows, there might already be some from me, after scott booted me. :)
That sux. Perhaps Storage B is another cool name for Penthouse?
If not, maybe this will make you feel better... found it today. They should all be free. But you didn't hear that from me.
http://linkin-inside.com/dnload/audio.htm
There is a lot more where that came from.
Gorillaz - Demon Days.
White Stripes live in Atlanta.
Woodstock '69.
Kelly Clarkson - Break Away.
Beastie Boys - Some Old Bulls**t.
Kasabian - Kasabian 2004.
Led Zeppelin - Early Blues Roots Of Led Zeppelin.
Oasis - Don't Believe The Truth.
Slayer - All albums.
System Of A Down - Mesmerize/.
Linkin Park discography.
Creed - Unreleased.
Defiance - 4 Albums.
Destiny's Child - Destiny Fullfilled.
Various Punk, Rock and Rap
I'll check back later to see if you're interested. I have to download a song off Linkin Park's for my son. We're missing one. :)
Howard Jones once said, "No one ever is to blame."
True.
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