Shop Dungarees is offering a new service to readers. If you have a question you need answered, post it up here on this bitch or send it to me at jmanpain@hotmail.com and I will post the answer. It can be about anything although I will tell you my areas of expertise lie primarily in the poop and computers genres.
Seriously though, there's no question I can't answer. If you've searched high and low and are still searching for the answer to a question that has been bothering you for a long time, you've found the answer right here.
I will also ask my 4 year old the same question and post her answer as well so you have a second opinion.
-JMAN
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12 comments:
at work, when is it ever not a really tight timeframe?
Why does mommy always curl up and cry in the corner after your "naked wrestling matches"?
Mostly I'm curious about your daughter's opinion on this.
How come when I'm waiting for an elevator someone always comes up and presses the button even though I already pressed it and it's lit up?
when you use one of those "seat protectors" in the bathroom stall, does the flappy part go in the front or the back?
Are you supposed to wipe front to back or back to front?
Sort of a 2-parter:
Who came up w/ "Admin Pro Day" (the day formerly known as "Secretary's Day")? I mean, what's so wrong in saying Secretary?
SECRETARY!!
Why does my dog only lick it's balls when I am on the brink of sleep. THEN, AFTER I throw a shoe at him, why does he wait a millisecond then do at least 6 more finishing licks knowing there is a match to that shoe waiting in the wings?
Dear Shop Dungs:
I have a question about work bathroom etiquette. Let’s just say that one has to drop a deuce at work. At my work we have single bathrooms and the door opens up in our hallway, directly across from the copy room. So, often times when you are exiting the bathroom someone is standing there waiting to use the potty. I try never to do this as I don’t want to know the particular smells of my co-workers, and feel that it puts too much pressure on the person coming out of the bathroom. I digress. The question: is it necessary to own up to causing a stench? What is the best way to play this off? Is it best to walk out of the bathroom and act all offended that someone left a foul stench? Should one act as if nothing smells out of order, like hot stink? Can I walk out and wave my arm in front of the door and in my best Ace Ventura voice advise people to NOT go in there?
Thanks for your help!
Hugs,
Mel
Why does my phone ring the second after I either: a) put hand lotion on; or b) take a bite of food?
If two trains leave the same station at 3:00pm, and one is traveling east bound at 35 mph and the other is traveling westbound at 20 mph, who in the hell ever has to solve a problem like this outside of high school?
Another bathroom etiquette question, if I'm allowed to double dip (not in the bathroom, sicko) --
My current workplace has some weird device for flushing the urinals -- it's not a lever, it's a plate, and you have to hit it pretty hard to get it to start flushing, and really hard to get it to keep going and complete the jorb. Weird, only time I've seen these, and they took me about a month here to master. Well, get to a journeyman level, anyway.
So with the journeymen and apprentices clearly outnumbering the masterers, you'll end up with some, and sometimes a lot of, discoloration of the urinal bowl (yeah, these guys have standing water, they aren't the normally empty kind -- must be related to the effed up flushing mechanism. It's basically a toilet you can't sit on... or at least a toilet you wouldn't wanna sit on).
Anyway, to my question. I walk up to the urinal and see one has the hue of lemonade. I take up residence at the other. I'm not particularly grossed out, but I clearly have a tendency to avoid bodily fluids laying around the workplace. Yay for me. However, last time I was in there, I heard someone come in behind me, and felt a twinge of guilt. Like the first guy there, if he was half a man (which is about right for me), would take one for the team, pee on top of his coworker's tinkle, and leave the place a little better than he found it by flushing both.
Luckily, the person went into a stall, so no worries about the incrimination.
So whaddya think. Two urinals, one tainted... but the possibility of forcing someone else (and since most people in my office are senior to me, someone generally boss-like) to use it (plus, didja ever notice boss-like folks think talking to another guy while both their wangs are out is perfectly ok? Must be a power thing). Now if they don't talk to me I'd know it was cuz I made them double dip on the urinal -- which maybe might be a victory of the moral, or social, or hygenic sense, but still maybe a bit awkward.
Question: Wouldn't you agree? Or no?
Mostly I'm curious about your daughter's opinion on this.
Seriously, help!
I am getting messages from my McAfee software that my computer is trying to hack itself.
" a computer at(something that seems to be my ip address) has attempted an unsolicited connection to UDP port 138, commonly used by the NETBIOS Datagram service. "
WTF does this mean? My new computer's got a split personality? I'm hiding under my desk, please text page me.
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