Ok well sometimes it's hard to tell if I've had too much too drink because I'm pretty much an a-hole 93% of the time anyway. But last night (if you can call it that at 3AM) I had wayyyyyy to much of the sauce. (and I'm not referring to the sauce on Erik with a K's ribs which were amazing and probably the source of another blogpost)
Somehow the alcohol level in my blood* got away from me last night so I'm writing a blogpology to everone that was there especially the hosts and the guests of honor who had no choice really except to tolerate me until somebody would drive me away. (I mean literally not emotionally through the use of abusive/abrasive language)
Individually my accomplishments of last night don't really seem too different than normal me but the frequency of jackassedness (pronounced jack-acid-ness) got high enough that even I realize it and now I have retrospective drunk's remorse. Maybe that's what Toren means when she says "petey helmet."
Here's what I remember that I need to apologize for but I'm not sure this is a complete list.
Erik and Debbie - I apologize for showing up. Being a jackass. and never leaving.
Troy - For calling you an idiot, at least once directly and then I think referencing it several times because I seem to remember you counting the instances with your middle finger(s).
Sarah - I apologize for palming your face I think. And in general for sitting next to you at the poker table.
Danielle - for attempting to tackle you** I think to prevent you from eating some more of the ribs. Oh dear sweet ribs. I am still tasting and enjoying you at 3 AM.
Scott - for making you drive me home during the worst April shitstorm of the last 1000 years.
Johnny V - for not having anything to apologize to you for since we party without you.
Leah - for sending you home with the kids so that I could get out of control drunk enough to feel the need to apologize for it.
* - I seriously believe Erik poured me a glass of Everclear TM with a splash of mango juice and I drank mine and most of Sarah's.
**-I outweigh Danielle by approximately whatever I currently weigh and still couldn't make the tackle. I really did try to tackle her.
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7 comments:
John, you rule. I seriously had an awesome time playing poker, and the last time i had fun playing cards, it was to see little Laurie Benton remove her top after a wicked game of the strip variety in 6th grade.
We should definitely do a regular poker night, hats and shades required. The snow can stay the eff away though.
Don't forget to add to the list
* coating yourself, up to your arms, in BBQ sauce and touching everything
* Dropping the poker chips (some of which just magically disappeared!)
* Laughing at the poop
Probably farting a lot in bed once you got home.
* Attempting to make out with Mark K.
There that seems more comprehensive.
Thanks Scott, I knew there were a couple things I forgot.
I will attest to the trying to tackle Danielle incident. I witnessed it. It was pathetic.
Wait, John, you forgot that you tried to mount me in the middle of the kitchen. However, I really don't need an apology for that since I won it in a poker game fair and square.
"tried" implies failure. I actually did mount you.
yeah, you did mount her in your aviator shades. no doubt there.
here's the url for the feed byatch.
http://weenjammer.blogspot.com/atom.xml
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