Thursday, March 17, 2005

Party Poker? I just met her.

So lately I have a problem where I'm playing poker online like it's a drug. I don't play for real money but as you can tell I've been doing something else besides blogging in the evenings. What I've been doing is actually sort of a blend of blogging and playing poker because you can chat with other players. I usually just say crazy stuff because for some reason most online poker players get royally pissed when you say stupid shit while you play and that makes for nothing but good fun. I told Sarah I would try to capture one of these and paste it onto my blog. Last night's conversation was a real treat. Here it is in all it's glory. FYI, I am jmanpain.

jmanpain: what's up home skillets
jmanpain: I've been playing cards with my dogs and I'm getting pretty good so watch out
toml66: speak englis
jmanpain: what do you mean?
toml66: "your dogs" ????
jmanpain: oh sorry canines
jmanpain: actually I meant what's englis?
toml66: stfu and play cards asshole
jmanpain: I have a border collie and a jack russell terrier the collie is pretty good.
toml66: just play cards asshole
jmanpain: hey tom are you 66 years old or do you like to play 66 a lot
toml66: 66 is the number of times i banged your mother
jmanpain: with what
toml66: your dogs
jmanpain: haha good one. *lol*
jmanpain: I don't really get it but I bet that's pretty funny
jmanpain: you guys are awesome *roflmao!*
jmanpain: if I put *'s around something it means I really am doing that FYI.
jmanpain: I just asked my mom what that meant
jmanpain: she just rolled her eyes
jmanpain: she said to tell you it was good
jmanpain: so anybody exclusively using premoistened wipes?
chrisr1324: right here
jmanpain: I don't use regular tp anymore
chrisr1324: tp's overrated
jmanpain: premoistened wipes are my own little slice of heaven
NERDie23: do you carry a box with you when you have to use public bathrooms?
jmanpain: what I normally will do is pre wet a paper towel before I head into the stall
NERDie23: lol
jmanpain: sometimes I will take a bottle of travel sized lotion in and make my own premoistened wipes
jmanpain: I mean put the lotion on the tp
jmanpain: not anything weird
NERDie23: isn't that a hassle though?
NERDie23: do you have to carry a manpurse?
jmanpain: no I'm talking about just the little hotel sized bottle
jmanpain: it fits in your pocket
NERDie23: aren't you afraid that it'll bust in your pocket?
jmanpain: unless you're wearing leather pants or something I guess
jmanpain: nah
jmanpain: it's high grade plastic
NERDie23: you're fearless
jmanpain: I really am
jmanpain: until some guy comes in and sits in the stall next to me
jmanpain: then I'm locked up like fort knox
willy1273: I gotta say, worst conversation ever
mallocup6: I just threw up. boys are gross
NERDie23: yea wtg jman!

Good times.


Sarah said...

This is fantastic. I love the guy who said he banged your mom. Please post more of these.

Carly said...

wow, toml66 is crabby huh? this is funny. I almost forgive you for not posting lately, but don't make me nag you again.

Erik with a K said...

If you weren't so goddamned hilarious every once in a while, i'd delist you from my blog. But that would be like Jesus delisting satan, as if Jesus would even be cool without satan. Not that your Satan and I'm jesus, just that it wouldn't make any sense.

So when are we doing an actual poker night? Word on the street is Scott and Danielle are in...


Erik with a K said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Johnny Virgil said...

That's freakin great! A great big Folio to you, you sick bastard!

Scott said...

This is sort of a glimpse into the retardation that is John. See you think that in "real life" he is acting normal and here he is just pretending. but it is the other way around. He fakes hs way through real life and then his true lotion-ass-wiping self comes out in anonymous chats.

Sarah said...

Amen, Scott. I was even going to say that this conversation kind of reminds me of how John talks at lunch. It's scary stuff, you guys.

Erik with a K said...

Retardation = comic genius

It's a fine line.

danielle said...

your canines play poker? i'm impressed.

Brian said...

that's very funny stuff. post when you'll be on the party poker and we can all join in the fun.

Lo Lo Lova said...

So one day my husband was logged onto Party Poker under my name and somebody "blogged" him and asked him if he had big boobs. Was it you??