Dear Guy Who Pages Me at 2AM,
When I am entering a blog at 2 AM you can be pretty certain I'm annoyed. For example right now I am annoyed. Why? Because there needs to be a prerequisite when we hire someone to be in charge of deciding when it's a good idea to page somebody and clearly, you didn't pass the test.
Here's the deal.
a.)User is retarded
is not the same as
b.)users are unable to access the server
I can see how you might slip up and misconstrue a as b but here are some simple questions to ask the user in choice a above to help you make the determination.
guy in charge of paging me: hello user, are you more than one person?
user: haha, no I am just one person
guy in charge of paging me: are you retarded?
user: yes. indeed I am retarded
in that case don't fucking page me at 2 AM. If by some catastrophic brainfart you still decide against all reason and better judgement to page me, please don't report situation a.) above as "hey John, users are reporting that they are not able to get to the server" as you should have been able to discern from the subsequent questions that in fact the one person having a problem is not multiple peole based on his answering no to the question "are you more than one person"
See I'm not so annoyed by the fact that you paged me to help retarded user as I am that you lie to me and say that retarded user is multiple people. There's a fundamental difference in the way I will go about my job to assess the situation when it's reported to me as "multiple people" (clearly a lie) and "some retarded user" (clearly the truth)
So hopefully this will help you decide next time if your 2 AM page is going to a.) simply annoy me or b.) make me want you to die 100 times and then just maybe if it's b you'll think twice.
Go eff yourself,