Wednesday, March 09, 2005


Dear Guy Who Pages Me at 2AM,

When I am entering a blog at 2 AM you can be pretty certain I'm annoyed. For example right now I am annoyed. Why? Because there needs to be a prerequisite when we hire someone to be in charge of deciding when it's a good idea to page somebody and clearly, you didn't pass the test.

Here's the deal.

a.)User is retarded

is not the same as

b.)users are unable to access the server

I can see how you might slip up and misconstrue a as b but here are some simple questions to ask the user in choice a above to help you make the determination.

guy in charge of paging me: hello user, are you more than one person?
user: haha, no I am just one person
guy in charge of paging me: are you retarded?
user: yes. indeed I am retarded

in that case don't fucking page me at 2 AM. If by some catastrophic brainfart you still decide against all reason and better judgement to page me, please don't report situation a.) above as "hey John, users are reporting that they are not able to get to the server" as you should have been able to discern from the subsequent questions that in fact the one person having a problem is not multiple peole based on his answering no to the question "are you more than one person"

See I'm not so annoyed by the fact that you paged me to help retarded user as I am that you lie to me and say that retarded user is multiple people. There's a fundamental difference in the way I will go about my job to assess the situation when it's reported to me as "multiple people" (clearly a lie) and "some retarded user" (clearly the truth)

So hopefully this will help you decide next time if your 2 AM page is going to a.) simply annoy me or b.) make me want you to die 100 times and then just maybe if it's b you'll think twice.

Go eff yourself,


Erik with a K said...

Believe it or not, the same guy, or his retarded brother, actually CALLED OUR HOUSE last night. Granted it was not at 2 am, however it was past my bedtime. He then got into an argument with my wife over his procedures. Mind you, she WROTE them. Her quote, "I don't mind that they call, but when they call, they're wrong, and then they argue with me, that makes me want to icepick them."

Sorry J-Man! S-Man deserves a beatin'

danielle said...

i bet it was eric. if not, i still hate that guy.

Keith said...


Blogs of course are not private. People have been fired from their jobs based on things that they have written in a blog. While there is certainly an effort underway by the blogging community to quarantee a sort of 'bloggers bill of rights' the bottom line is that if someone complains about something you say in a blog, the company can and sometimes has no choice but to respond the same as if these things were said aloud at work or sent out in an email at work. Now.. because I don't work with you I can say that you certainly seem to have someone on your hands who is either a colossal A-Hole or a colossal retard. Possibly both.

I was paged at 6:00am on Sunday morning by someone who called to let me know that they were working on something and that they didn't need my help.

John said...

This is precisely why I didn't mention that I work for Price Waterhouse and why I didn't specifically mention the guys name who pages me at 2AM and who sucks total balls is Marcus Davidson.

Johnny Virgil said...

Nice template change. Huge improvement. Now write something dammit.

Tigerlily said...

Uh, is this why you have disappeared for so long? Chez template change? I think you are trying to battle me for the longest stalemate.