Saturday, January 22, 2005

Trip Prep-101

A lot of people need time to prepare for a week long trip. I need approximately 32 minutes. If you've never left your house for a week at a time I will grant you that you might think you need more time. What do I need to sleep in? What if it's warm? What if it's cold?

I really would be fine with 2 items
1. My wallet
2. Premoistened wipes (which I could probably score as long as I have my wallet)

Once I'm certain those 2 things are making the trip, I can pretty much finish packing in this manner.
3. Take all my underwear (2.5 pairs - the .5 is a pair that you can see my nuts through even though there are no actual holes)
4. Take all my socks (3 socks total to be rotated)
5. Take all my shirts (2 which I will be wearing - see below)
6. Take my favorite (only) pair of jeans
7. Take one of those gay shower scrubbies

Finally zip up the zipper on the ol' backpack and head to the airport at least 15 minutes before your flight.

You should be wearing
2 pairs of socks
2 pairs of shorts
2 pairs of pants
2 shirts
2 pairs of shoes
2 pairs of underwear
1 light jacket
1 heavy coat (preferably a men's XL Tall no matter what size or gender you personally are)
1 baseball cap
1 stocking cap

If you want you can bring a cell phone in case 1979 calls asking for the Captain America Underoos from line 3 above. I'll be honest with you though it's not like he's ever going to get through, what with 1984 constantly calling about my 'current' music collection.


danielle said...

please never tell us about your .5 underwear again.

Sarah said...

1 - you are the funniest person alive.
2 - I can't believe you aren't taking any hand sanitizer

John said...

actually the point fives didn't make it. so you're fine