Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Really important post (please read)

Just because you have a snare drum and a harmonica and you know the first line of the chorus of Purple Rain by heart doesn't make you better than me.

You ever have one of those days where you just want to punch a homeless guy right in the face? If so you're not a good person. Second, I'm here to tell you don't do it. You don't know where his face has been. That's the "really important" piece I wanted to tell you.

Now you're anxiously awating an update on my resolutions since it's been a week and that's not going to get old like 2 posts ago. I mean it hasn't been a week but it feels like it's been a week. I haven't made it to work before 8:30 yet. Today I got there at 9:03. That's pretty effing lame and precisely what I had intended not to do when I made the resolutions. On the bright side, regarding the 10 pounds I'm going to drop this year I'm only up 3 pounds since that post. That sounds like I'm on the road to failure but when you compare to previous years, it's a slight improvement. One thing that really is not helping is all the candy. There's like 23 pounds of chocolate in our pod at work. Also, I still have a few star crunches in my drawer from my birthday present from Sarah. If you're not aware of my little debbie problem, I once considered eating an OCP off the ground in pee alley. I mean it was still wrapped so I'm not a freak or anything. You can shut your mouth if you don't like Little Debbies, you bastard. I'll punch you right in the face. Just like I almost did that homeless guy that got to the OCP before me. Really he didn't "get to it" before me, he peed directly on it. It was kinda like when you have your family over for Thanksgiving and you lick the whole Pumpkin pie so they won't eat it. Only this was pee. Anyways, he couldn't help it I guess. He probably thought it was a urinal cake. This is the most retarded post ever. This blog can't go on much longer.


danielle said...

hey dog, you did your thing. way to go on ridding your house of those giant rodents.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Speaking of Urinal cakes, I saw one the other day and it said "Hi Shorty" on it. I peed on the writing but it wasn't coming off. Now, is that nice? Who wants to mocked when taking a wizz? For christs sake!