Henry Gale

Yesterday morning I woke up to the repeating sound of a propane blowtorch or a jet car testing the burner or something to that effect. I've been in a hot air balloon once and the sound of the burner heating the air in the balloon is pretty unmistakeable however even though I was sure that's what I was hearing it literally sounded like it was happening inside my house. I heard my wife get up and open the sliding glass door to the backyard and then she came in and said "you gotta come here." I jumped up and we walked out the front door to this.



That's really a picture of my front yard on Sunday morning at 8:24 AM. This guy just dropped his hot air balloon (HAB) right on my front lawn. It was awesome. My kids both lost their minds.



The weather was really calm and apparently this was a perfect day for this guy to learn how to take off and land in a HAB and so he was just going up and down all over the county. Kinda like Okay Seriously Sarah and the Cheesecakehor but in a different way.

I asked him if I could take it for a ride but he was all "um, how would you get it back here" then I was like "click my heels bro, c'mon even a rookie should know that one"

Then he was like "allright creepy loser guy, I'll see you later."



Then I was like "ok see you later Henry Gale."

Anni-vas-ery

Sarah celebrated her home ownership one year anniversary and it made me think "man I remember helping her move and my balls were real sore." Then I remembered I had them cut into around that time so I checked the blog archives and sure enough today is my 1 year vasectoversary. It's been a good year with no sperm in my ejaculate. I was using the leftover condoms for whacking it because jesus says it's a sin to touch yourself but with a layer of latex I was kind of skirting the rules. Now I'm going to hell. I have to say the seedless grapes are completely healed, there was a time there when I thought I might have permanent ballache but it's all good now. I haven't had as many random bitches as I had hoped or as my wife promised when I agreed to go under the knife but it's cool I'm sure it's in the works.

Also as promised here is a diagram explaining my previous 3rd degree sunburn.
During A I was wearing a bathing suit and my entire front got burned because I'm retarded and had 50 SPF on my back and nothing on the front. During B I was wearing a skin tight biking jersey and spandex shorts and went biking for 30 miles with no sunscreen at all.

Sweet Tan

Listening to Dixie Chicks on a Spongebob Boombox

Hi Guys,

I'm on vacation in North Carolina. I'm in Snead's Ferry on Topsail Island hanging out with the in laws. To most people that maybe doesn't sound like the best thing but my in laws are pretty cool and we're having a great time. Much alcohol has been consumed and I have maybe the greatest farmer tan/sun burn pattern ever seen. I'm going to try to get somebody to take a picture of it tonight and I will try to post it tomorrow. You will enjoy because either you are gay like John Virgil and Scott or you are in love with me like HoKay Seriously, Cheesecakepot, Going on Horty, SLCUPS, Mel and LoLo. I'm having a good time, eating well exercising well and drinking well. I'll see you peeps when I get back to C-Town.

Later dogs,
JManPain