Sarah celebrated her home ownership one year anniversary and it made me think "man I remember helping her move and my balls were real sore." Then I remembered I had them cut into around that time so I checked the blog archives and sure enough today is my 1 year vasectoversary. It's been a good year with no sperm in my ejaculate. I was using the leftover condoms for whacking it because jesus says it's a sin to touch yourself but with a layer of latex I was kind of skirting the rules. Now I'm going to hell. I have to say the seedless grapes are completely healed, there was a time there when I thought I might have permanent ballache but it's all good now. I haven't had as many random bitches as I had hoped or as my wife promised when I agreed to go under the knife but it's cool I'm sure it's in the works.
Also as promised here is a diagram explaining my previous 3rd degree sunburn.
During A I was wearing a bathing suit and my entire front got burned because I'm retarded and had 50 SPF on my back and nothing on the front. During B I was wearing a skin tight biking jersey and spandex shorts and went biking for 30 miles with no sunscreen at all.
10 comments:
spandex?
Sadly, that does explain it.
Happy vasectoversary! If you go by what happened to my doctor, you should be having another baby in about 4 years.
Happy Vasectoversary, Shop. I laughed so damn hard while reading this post, I'm pretty sure my honey nut chex came out my nose. Thanks.
I bet when you're wearing spandex bike shorts people can tell you've been vasecticized. Deballed. Un-cojoned. Had your honey nuts chexed.
Yeah.
i like how your legs are shapely and in proportion with everything on your body. by this i mean, they're not. can i 'vas' you a question?
Damn! I almost forgot about your balls hurting. Glad to hear they are all good! Also, you tan lines are to die for.
You're in luck... I had to attend this religious conference in Columbus on Sunday and picked up (no joke) a "Get Out of Hell Free" card (looks like a Monopoly card). I thought I'd keep it for myself in case I wanted to commit some major sin, but if you read my blog about masterbating the last few posts... well, dude you need it more than me. I'll attach a photo later to the end of today's post when my camera battery is working again.
ps What is that sticking out of A's pants?
"vasectoversary" is the greatest word of all time. Congrats and enjoy your special day :)
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