- One time when I was playing hide and seek I turned the corner around the barn by my house in a dead sprint for the goal and hit a patch of fresh cat shit. My feet went out from under me forwards such that every inch of my 5' 5" frame slid through the doodie like it was a slip and slide. If you know me, you know that I have real issues with smells. Fresh cat shit has one. It's horrible. I puked.
- I have to shave my balls next week.
- Paying more for a bra doesn't necessarily improve the appearance of the contents.
- I love and respect my wife enough to wait until after they stop the flow of my procreative seed before I start effin random bitches.
- I might have a gambling problem.
Friday, June 03, 2005
some more stuff
I don't know what to write about so here's this.
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15 comments:
Regarding #4:
Good thing the wife doesn't follow that policy, or you wouldn't have those lovely tow-headed youngsters of yours.
Regarding whatever number was the nard-shaving:
I can only imagine the joys of sack-stubble. Good luck with that.
Your randomness is "scrumtrillescent."
I, too, have a thing about smells. I have vomitted many-a-time from catching a wiff of an unholy odor.
I would like to bet you that you don't have a gambling problem. Interested?
You should include #1 in your movie.
PS: why, exactly, do you HAVE to shave the nether-region?
well supposedly I have to shave it for a vasectomy but honestly I think it's just something the doctor says to see if I'll actually do it. Then according to Sarah when I pull my pants down in the operating room he's going to turn to the nurse and go "haha he actually did it you owe me $5"
I always thought they did that for you. I think Sarah is on to something! You should get in on the bet, seeing as how you like to gamble. Feeling lucky?
John - who is going to play you in the movie?
I think they're going to get Bobby Hill to play the "young john"
And Kevin James to play the young "thin" John
Can I be one of the townsfolk milling around in the background? That would rock!
If by "milling" you mean prancing naked then by all means yes.
I'll get naked, but I absolutely refuse to prance!
ok.... so, if you are getting a snip job, thus staunching the flow of your procreative seed, is this the moment you start effin random biotches?
I hope not - if so, I think you should shave the boys with a dull rusty razor, in the dark, dry...
heehee
Gee Cyn, just when I thought I couldn't get a more vivid picture, or a worse feeling... :D
Yeah, and good luck with that. Might find it's better to just keep them shaved then let it grow back in again... I'll stop there.
Don't shave yourself, you spaz.
But DO buy bags of frozen peas... you'll need them. Of course, you'll never be able to look at peas again for the rest of your life, but it will help.
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