Thanks to all the well wishers, all is well with the balls. As for the guy who told me to go eff myself, 1. that's not nice and 2. I'm not allowed any ejaculations for 7 days which as Scott says is 6 days longer than my previous best. Stubble does indeed suck my freshly shaven balls. So besides being a little swollen and itchy it's all good. For your enjoyment, I will share some dialogue that actually occurred during the event.
Dr: "This is going to feel a little like getting hit in the testicles"
Me: "hey I like getting hit in the nuts as much as the next guy but I don't really think he likes it much"
Dr: "yeah I'm going to need to work at this a little, remember how we talked about your having a tight scrotum?"
Dr: "you're going to feel a little prick"
Me: "yeah you are too"
Dr: injects lidocaine into scrotum
Me: "yeahhhh that feels good"
Dr: "I can honestly say that's the first time anyone has ever said that"
Nurse: "you need to have at least 12 ejaculations before you bring in your first sample"
Me: "so I'll see you sometime next January"
Seriously all those conversations actually occurred. I tried to get my wife to take a tasteful picture of my shaved baggage but she put her foot down. I think what she said was "you're not putting a picture of your shaved nuts on the internet. You're such an idiot. Seriously, this is where I draw the line."