Friday, June 17, 2005

ride the hors shave a cowboy

Thanks to all the well wishers, all is well with the balls. As for the guy who told me to go eff myself, 1. that's not nice and 2. I'm not allowed any ejaculations for 7 days which as Scott says is 6 days longer than my previous best. Stubble does indeed suck my freshly shaven balls. So besides being a little swollen and itchy it's all good. For your enjoyment, I will share some dialogue that actually occurred during the event.

Dr: "This is going to feel a little like getting hit in the testicles"
Me: "hey I like getting hit in the nuts as much as the next guy but I don't really think he likes it much"

Dr: "yeah I'm going to need to work at this a little, remember how we talked about your having a tight scrotum?"
Me: "no"

Dr: "you're going to feel a little prick"
Me: "yeah you are too"

Dr: injects lidocaine into scrotum
Me: "yeahhhh that feels good"
Dr: "I can honestly say that's the first time anyone has ever said that"

Nurse: "you need to have at least 12 ejaculations before you bring in your first sample"
Me: "so I'll see you sometime next January"

Seriously all those conversations actually occurred. I tried to get my wife to take a tasteful picture of my shaved baggage but she put her foot down. I think what she said was "you're not putting a picture of your shaved nuts on the internet. You're such an idiot. Seriously, this is where I draw the line."

Sorry.

17 comments:

LizzieDaisy said...

The first to comment. I feel so priviledged. I feel stupid actually, cause I'm not sure I spelled that right. Anyway, thanks for a great laugh, sorry it was at your expense.

I must say, as sad as I am to miss out on the pictures... being a wife, I totally understand the foot placement.

January huh. Sorry again. :)

LizzieDaisy said...

privileged

yeah, that's what I meant.

:)

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

I already saw the pictures on savednuts.com.

Nice tatoo of Mr. Peanut.

Brian said...

I guess my wife is as sick as I am. She took the pic for me. I think everyone who viewed it became ill once I told them what they are viewing.

It's not pretty.

Lo Lo Lova said...

Glad all is well and secretly relieved not to click on your blog and have THAT picture appear while my boss is standing over my shoulder!

Too bad about the January thing. Guess Christmans isn't the only thing that comes just once a year...

russ said...

Shoppy D!

Guess your ween has been officially jammed now, eh?

John said...

In retrospect I think a funnier response to the nurse would have been "so 7 days plus 12 ejaculations.... ok I'll see you next Wednesday"

russ said...

It certainly wouldn't have made all the women feel sorry for you. Although you might be able to parlay this into some of that 'random bitches' action you're now in the clear for.

Libby said...

awwww...maybe you'll get a "pity fuck" out of it, huh?
Sorry...it was there...
LibbY!

Anonymous said...

Too funny...

get a lapdance from a bag o' frozen peas, buddy.

Johnny Virgil said...

Oh my god. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I actually called my wife in and made her read it. The "I can honestly say" line killed me.

Brian said...

I agree with with anonmyouse. Frozen peas will become your best friend for a couple of days.

John said...

they gave me a nice set of ice panties. They're awesome. I filled them with the crushed ice from the fridge door and hoooooweeeee.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Ice panties, huh?

Nah, I won't say it. Can't kick a man when he's down.

LizzieDaisy said...

OMGosh, ice panties?! You're almost in the league of having a baby and getting all, well, never mind. I'll make you feel better instead of teasing you.

My hubby brought those ice packs home last time I had a baby... the ones that look like the pads you wouldn't get caught dead buying for your wife unless you really NEED that pity sex? Well... they're the kind if you hit them, they break and get all cold... he saves them for the boys in case they get hurt. :D Let me tell you, they NEVER get hurt now. NEVER!! :) :) :)

Day Musings said...

Re Picture.... THANK GOD!!

Day Musings said...

RE Ice Panties...

Will they hold beer?