Tuesday, February 15, 2005

No offense but....

you know what follows that? Something really goddamned offensive is what. Just because you start with "No offense but" it's not a license to offend at will. No offense but your kids are the ugliest I've ever seen. No offense but I believe you're the most incompetent person I've ever met. So there are people who can make a whole conversation out of qualifiers and unnecessary filler. And I'm pretty sure every single one of them works in a place where there's hundreds of people in a big room separated by carpeted half walls. Can I ask you a question? Yeah apparently you can jackass. You got a minute? Well if I did, you just wasted like at least 4 or 5 seconds of it by asking. WTF?

At the conference I went to and blogged too much about recently, the resort staff were obsessed with forced rerouting of people to send them in directions contrary to the obvious. You'd walk into a room where there's a table of food right in front of you but can you go to it? No, you need to go to the farthest corner of the room to get your food. That's your reward for being there on time or early. Meanwhile the a-rod that shows up 5 minutes before they start playing the NBC tones on the dingy bell get to go to the one right inside the door. Well this really started to piss me off by the end of the conference for some reason so when I went in for breakfast on the last day the lady said to me "Can I ask you to walk to the table back to the far corner." I answered "you just did. Now can I politely agree and then ignore you and go to this close one?" And I did. They're not the boss of me.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

MattC: What category do the "oh, this tastes like ass...try this" people fit into?

Sarah said...

No offense but you're overly angry about this.

Hugh Janus said...

"What category do the "oh, this tastes like ass...try this" people fit into?"

Mine. If I'm tasty something shitty, then you are too.

Brian said...

I agree. You are overly angry. You're already walking a ton for the conference, it't that freaking hard to walk another 20 yards so the guy making $5/hour can do his job and tell you to keep walking?

That's what you get for saying I stole your memo button. I invented that while you were still in diapers.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Dee Doo Dee Dooo,
Dee Doo Dee Doo,
Dee Doo Dee Dooo,
Dee Doo Dee Doo.

It's me, xylaphone guy. Meal time's over, Porkchop.

Anonymous said...

No offense, but your a fag for crying about walking all the way to the other side of a room.

John said...

You're the fag for not knowing the difference between your and you're. And you're a poop mouth with that poop coming out of your mouth.

Anonymous said...

Look, now he is a fag English teacher!

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Hey Mr. Alcholics Anonymous, sign on like a real pussy why don't cha? Don't make us sic Scott on you. We're not responsible for what happens when that can of whoop-ass gets opened.