- USB Broom handle MP3 player with Sirius
- A trash can with a vent hole in the bottom so the whole fucking can doesn't dance around like a retarded camel while you're pulling the bag out (the trash bag)
- A new mascot for Arby's
- Adjustable journal bearings for the nuclear energy industry
- Reclining toilet
- S.C.O.T.T.I - my self-contained-office-toilet-tabernacle-invention with reverse destructive sine wave generation for ambient noise reduction
- Dogdu shovel boot
- Remote power off for the automobile industry.
- Hot pocket sized Totino's pizza rolls
- The poop number heated toilet seat with memory foam. "She's a 45 I'm a 95." I like a firm seat.
- Reversible diapers
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Lay down comic
I can't figure it out exactly but I've been thinking about starting a lay down comedy routine. It's like stand-up only I would deliver my routine from a stretcher. I think the best thing will be my entrance where these two idiots wheel me in on a gurney to the mic and when they get there a wheel falls off and the whole thing goes to shit. Then they get me back upright and then my sucky jokes would commence. People in the audience would feel awkward not knowing whether I was really some kind of invalid or if it was part of the show. Maybe I would have a colostomy bag on the thing to really sell it. I don't know. I'm still working on it along with all the other stuff. Here's some of the stuff I'm working on.