Thursday, February 10, 2005

13-0

Yesterday some guy came in and camped out in the stall next to me. He, like his 12 failed predecessors mistakenly thought "well sure there's someone in here but if I just go in and sit down, he'll wrap up and then I can get to my business." He misunderestimated me. I have a 2 way pager and nothing but time. I'm not going anywhere until I finish what I came in here to do. I'll write emails to myself and friends, read the news, whatever. I will sit here for 15 hours if need be but I'm not leaving just to help you out, camper. The best attempt to "dethrone me" only lasted 23 minutes. That was old #11. He was worthy adversary. He had a good pair of sitting shoes and either a newspaper or a magazine. He outlasted #9 and #10 combined. In the end though he lost. That's the bottom line. I think he might have lost circulation in his legs. It has happened to me but I fight through the pain. Pins and needles. I really haven't even had to bring my A game yet. I doubt it will ever come to that. I think I might request mail in blogs though.

11 comments:

Erik with a K said...

That is some seriously funny shit, SD. You're why I went into blogging. I'm just glad Pepsi has decided to sponsor my blog so I can quit working and concentrate on more pooping and farting posts.

I've done the "fake out" too, which really pisses people off...start getting some TP off the roll, and they get all excited like I'm getting ready to cave in. Then I blow my nose and crush their spirit.

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast...I will win that game.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Your amazing skills would be wasted here. I have never encountered any campers like I've seen over at ---. Guys used to go in the can with books, newspapers and I even saw a dude haul his laptop in there.

Scott said...

This same thing happened to me yesterday - but the other guy won. He was Grunty and smelled funny. Wait - what time did your "encounter" happen?

Hugh Janus said...

I could give you a run for your money because not only am I pee shy, I'm poo shy. Of course, I probably wouldn't venture in there if I saw the feet in the first place. If you came in afterwards, then game on.

I'd be there so long that you'd notice my legs start to shrivel up from lack of circulation.

And speaking of pee shyness, surprisingly bestowing golden showers are no problem.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Dude, you win "best Blogger Name"
Hugh Janus! Ha hah hahahahaha.

Carly said...

You people are about 4 years old!

What is it with males and bathroom jokes??

John said...

The bathroom is no joke. Truth is so much funnier than jokes

danielle said...

dude, when can we set up a lunch with hugh janus?

Hugh Janus said...

Hugh Janus is available for lunch almost anytime, with a bit of notice. In addition, Hugh Janus has apparently started speaking in the 3rd person.

Erik with a K said...

H...? H Meyer? Is that you?

You old salty dog you. I like the Hugh Janus bit

Adam said...

I've noticed that not a single person here has invited me to lunch, what's with that?

P.S) I'd give you all a run for your money! I think this sport has enough sponsorship to be in the next olympics.