What's the deal with morning wood? If there's a purpose for everything what's its purpose? Girls probably don't give a rat's pajamas about my issues because "you try pushing a bowling ball out your ass, and then tell me about your problems."
So assbowling aside, morningwood is problematic. First of all it's just embarassing. I mean if you stay the night at the in-laws or something and grandma comes in to rouse (not arouse) you in the morning and you've tented-the-sheet, it's a little awkward. Second, everyone has to piss in the morning, that's universal. The problem is, my little friend who's obviously way more awake than I am at this point isn't having anything to do with it. He's not pointing, nor is he willing to be pointed anywhere near the toilet. I suppose if you have a toilet on the ceiling maybe but I don't. So I could stand on my head I guess. I could sit and scoot way back and lean way forward or something. I could think about the face of the lady at work who runs for her bus every day at 5, that would certainly put an end to it. I could have sex (probably with myself) but I think that level of activity would cause a myocardial infarction at that hour. So there's issues is all I'm saying. Childbirth by any comparison is a cakewalk. I'm just kidding. jeez. take it easy.